all things me

I have this recurring dream or nightmare or hallucination — whatever I should call it.

I think it happens right when I’m about to fall asleep: I “wake up” and see an enormous spider, a black tarantula-looking thing, walking on the bed next to my pillow. At the time, still half-asleep/awake, I’m actually aware that this happens to me a lot and I know it’s never been anything, but I think this time the thing just looks so real (and huge, and moving!) that I have to turn on the light — which I in reality do because I’m not sleeping properly yet — and make sure.

Unsurprisingly, there’s never been anything. Not even a big crinkle in the bedsheets.

I think it’s strange that this happens to me so often, because I’m not particularly afraid of spiders. I don’t like them but I don’t have a phobia either.

There’s also the dream of a mouth full of loose teeth (I hear it’s quite common). Ugh, I really hate that one. Luckily I haven’t seen it in a while. Maybe chewing gum helps…

Back in 1997 I popped my knee really badly in April and had to use crutches for quite some time: first till I got in a surgery that summer and then finally to heal.

It was horrible having to ask help for anything and everything when both my hands were occupied by the crutches. In school I felt such a burden to my friend — just getting to class was a challenge. (And boy, the confirmation camp that summer was such a hoot.)

At a time when I’d got rid of one crutch I went to McDonald’s with my friend. I was left at the counter to carry the tray to our table. Yes, the one-armed me. The tray was quite heavy — with two drinks, two burgers and two sets of fries — and pretty soon after I’d started walking to the table, I dropped it.

I was sooo embarrassed. My friend had to go ask for refills for the drinks and someone had to come and wipe the Cokes off the floor. And I had to sit there and eat that meal.

Just now, after all these years of still being embarrassed, as something made me think about the crutches again (not that I haven’t thought about them before…) I surprised myself by realising something: why should I be embarrassed about what happened? No one offered to help me (a 15-year-old girl). Not my friend, not the person at the counter, no one. They should’ve been embarrassed.

I’m on my summer vacation, and after one week at the summer cottage and one — this — week spent pretty much lazing around (and assassinating people), I decided to do something useful for a change. I started organizing my closets. I went through (actually started to go through, I’m not finished yet) the clothes — especially my overflowing sock drawer; I love silly socks — and checked if there was anything to throw out or recycle.

I came across my favourite socks.

Worn out, faded, and I haven’t worn them for ages. After thinking about it for a while, I decided to throw them out. Hopefully they’ll bring warmth to someone when they’re burned at a power plant.

I bought new boots

They’re US army jungle boots. They’re so nice… built-in air conditioning* and everything!

I have a problem with pretty much all new shoes: they scrape the back of my ankle raw. In addition to these new summer boots, I have really nice leather “combat boots” that I haven’t worn much because I can’t walk for long distances.

But, I was determined to wear my new jungle boots (after destroying my heel once and realising that yeah, these shoes have the same problem) and I googled for tips. Some people had told they always broke boots in by wearing woolly socks for a while. So that’s what I did.

That does the trick! Too bad it’s summertime because it gets pretty warm in there… I’m looking forward to autumn and winter for once! (Now I’ll also get to break in my “old” leather boots when it’s cold and wet and I don’t want to wear shoes with holes in them.)

* Little ventilation/draining holes right above the sole. Now I realised you can actually see them in the photo: they show quite clearly in the bottom photo, the shoe on the right.

I have a Whirlpool washing machine that has “6th sense technology.” It’s supposed to be able to determine how full the machine is and then adjust the washing cycle, water etc. accordingly.

I don’t know if it’s doing a good job or not (in the 6th sense stuff; it does make clothes clean which is enough for me), but today I noticed it’s a bit too smart. Either that, or there’s someone living in my washing machine.

I put a small amount of clothes in the machine, including a small zipper bag with a clothing item in it. I zipped up the bag, of course.

After the cycle was done and I went to unload the machine, I noticed that the zipper bag was open — and empty. Whoever it was, they hadn’t stolen the item, so at least I don’t have one of those sock-stealing creatures in there.

I’ve also noticed they enjoy turning huge duvet covers inside out!

I’m tired and freezing! Let me tell you why:

I left work a bit after 6:30pm (started at 9am), having had a headache for a few hours by then, and when I got to the bus stop it said 6 minutes to the next bus. Great!

6 minutes went – the bus didn’t.

Next it said 20 minutes to the next bus. All right, I’ll wait.

20 minutes went – the bus still didn’t.

Next I decided to take any bus that would take me closer to home. I only had to wait for 4 minutes more.

The next problem was figuring out what next: It was around 7:15pm at this point. I wouldn’t make the train at 7:30 and the next one went at 8 (and then I’d have to stand on it for 7 minutes and walk for 10-15). I was also thinking about going to the very last stop of the bus I was on, which would’ve taken 30-40 minutes and then I would’ve had to wait for 15 minutes at worst (if I was lucky) for the next connecting bus or just walk straight home for 20-25 minutes (but do I have to mention I was freezing at this point).

Luckily right before the train station I realised I have several possible trains to get to a station where I could take a bus that should run at 10-15 minute intervals. I quickly checked the trains on my mobile and there was one going in 3 minutes, so I jumped out and ran to the train.

During the 4 minutes on the train I checked when the bus might be going next: 2-3 minutes after the train arrived. Excellent! Again, I jumped out and ran to the stop.

The bus was late — but only for about 7 minutes, so after a while I was at home. Home!

Boy, I feel like sleeping in tomorrow… (not going to happen) Well, at least it’s Friday then.

I’ve been taking extra vitamins every morning in a fizzy tablet form since last autumn (I think I started just before I was leaving for Australia – in August). Not sure if it has done anything good but it can’t hurt. I haven’t had any long flu episodes but I can’t remember how I was before…

The other day I got to talking with some co-workers about fish oils and one said that she’s noticed a benefit in taking them. I’ve been thinking about trying some for a while so now I thought, why not?

The fish oil tablets contain vitamins A, D, and E. And the fizzy tablets fill the gaps nicely with vitamins B and C.

Now I’ll just have wait and see what the benefits are. Maybe it’ll enhance my memory.

Can’t believe it’s yet another new year. I’ve been very lazy in blogging lately but, frankly, there hasn’t been much to blog about. The autumn has gone by so fast.

I got Tomb Raider: Underworld for Christmas but my current computer has difficulty running it (I bet it’s the graphics card which is too old). My birthday is conveniently coming up so I thought I’d pamper myself to a new computer with Windows 7. (I just checked my blog; my current computer, Sullivan, is 4.5 years old!) I actually have quite a few games in store that I haven’t been able to play yet, e.g. Jericho and the newest Prince of Persia (haven’t tried it at all, but the minimum supported graphics card is newer than my current one).

Originally I was planning on getting a new computer once I knew the requirements for Alan Wake. Now that they’re not promising a PC version anymore, I can’t wait with the upgrade. If they end up making the game too demanding for my new PC, I’ll just have to get an Xbox 360 (which is the main platform for the game)

Maybe with the help of a new computer I can wait with my phone purchase a little longer, at least until they announce this year’s new models. I haven’t been able to decide between N900 and N97 so I’m hoping there’ll be a new phone about which I can make up my mind.

I baked a yummy big crumb coffee cake for Christmas. I made a filling from rhubarb and strawberries (drool) and as “dark brown sugar” I used muscovado which I happened to have in my cupboard. The cake seemed like a lot of work but I think most of that was because the muscovado was clumped up. I spent a long time trying to get the base of the crumb mixture (butter+sugar) smooth and ended up having it maybe too fluffy (sugar and butter will turn foamy after a while). It was very good after it had had time to set (i.e. the next day and after that). First I didn’t think so, but now I feel I could try it again some time (I just have to remember to de-clump the sugar) — after the last 8 pieces have gone from my freezer I had to freeze it, it would’ve been dangerous to keep it in the fridge…

So often in life I feel like a stand-up comedian — for v-e-r-y s-l-o-w people. Hindsight is 20-20 and more often than not I think of a witty response when it’s too late.

Just today I was walking home from the grocery store, carrying a very heavy grocery back, feeling like my arm would fall of if I’m not quick enough. I walked by a stand offering Omega3 pills and there was a very persistent guy trying to get people to stop. He tried to get me to stop and said “please, stop for a while.” I kept walking and he kept trying. Lastly he said “there’s some omega3 for you. It’s healthy!” I walked on by.

Just an instant later I thought of what I should’ve said in response: “So is brisk walking!”

Sigh.

For a long while I’ve been racking my brain about every book I read next. I’m between Kings, you see, and any non-King book seems to be very difficult to find.

Just a while ago I read Raymond Khoury’s “The Last Templar” of which I had made a mental note long time ago because the topic was interesting. I enjoyed the book immensely but did I even once think he may’ve written something else? No, of course not. I suppose in my twisted logic only King has written more than one book…

Today I visited a library, walked straight to the English section (horror, more specifically) and — after a lot of head tilting — picked up two short story collections. When I was heading back to get the books checked out I spotted a Raymond Khoury book on a shelf. It was in Finnish, alas, but it gave me an idea! I went back to the English section and tried to look for something by Khoury. Couldn’t find anything but I promised myself to note it down.

Now I do have a stack of books to get through but at least I know what to look for next: The Sign and Sanctuary — by Raymond Khoury.