all things me

(Can you think of a more boring title? )

Merry Christmas everyone!! We have given out presents already, njah njah. I got wonderful things: Splinter Cell Chaos Theory (Kory, yay!!!) and Path of Neo. Ooooh, which to install? Both! I also got books — Secrets of the Code by Daniel Burstein (“The Unauthorised Guide to the Mysteries Behind the Da Vinci Code”) and “a guide for grammar police” or something like that And I got Donna Tartt’s Secret History from a friend of mine who got me the Little Friend by the same author a few years ago. It’s not my usual style of literature, but I liked Little Friend very much. I can’t wait to start with the new book. Sister had got me a Stephen King movie, Silver Bullet.

Now, to the title. I think, when you are little and your Dear Santa letters are like this…
– pretty pink Barbie
– candy
– somesuperduper Lego package
– some electric spy thingy gadget
– something pretty impossible to find
… each of those dashes represent the word ‘and’.

When you get older and your letters are like this…
– Splinter Cell Chaos Theory
– Path of Neo
– Prince of Persia Two Thrones
– Ring 2 DVD
– Call of Cthulhu
– something on Da Vinci Code
– very heavy dictionaries
– (you get the drift)
… the dashes represent the word ‘or’.

Each year I need to point this out to Dad when he gasps after seeing my wishlist. This year, it was pretty short though (SC:CT, PoN, PoP:TT), but the things I wished for weren’t cheap.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll need to hop into the boots of Sam Fisher and slip on the nightvision goggles.

I hate putting a green custom sticker on gifts. I hate how it also spoils the fun for the packages I get. But without it the package gets stuck in the customs and you have to stand there, watching a mean-looking officer get his dirty hands on your precious gift and give you the third degree.

If I got a wrapped present that I had to pick up at the customs and I obviously wouldn’t know what is in it, would they make me open it there — or worse, open it themselves?

Yeah, I’m stressed out on the 2nd day.

No, not really. Just blabbering about work because I’m really really tired (I worked till 5:30 — don’t worry, I didn’t do overtime). Part II of bad habits: I can’t take breaks.

I didn’t eat at work today or yesterday; yesterday I was too nervous to be hungry, today I didn’t have anything to prepare and people/person I could’ve gone to lunch with ate in — I’m also nearly incapable of going to lunch alone. Also, I often work non-stop, because I don’t have the excuse of smoking to take a break and if I do take a break (in front of the computer for instance, maybe to check mail) I’m afraid people will think I’m not doing my job (not that there is much work now that I’ve just started). I did get a cup of coffee and ate a banana today. Hurray.

At the Uni project I sometimes went to eat alone when I was really really really hungry, so maybe I’ll learn to do that when I’m more used to working at this new place. Maybe I even dare use my Cookie Benefit (cookies and coffee + condiments are on the house) one day.

I have a confession to make: I’ve liked Batman ever since I was a little girl. Yes, I watched the cartoonish Batman series (“POW”) — religiously. Every week anxious to see how Batman and Robin get out of the traps evil Joker, Penguin or whoever has got them in. I even saw a lot of dreams of Gotham City. Full moon. Dark city skyline. Niiice.

Yesterday I saw Batman Begins (I started writing this yesterday but was too tired to finish). My friend was amused by the movie. I was fascinated. It was wonderful to see the development of all the equipment — very rough at first (oi, the car *chuckles*) and of course how Batman evolved (or Bruce Wayne, that is), and the connections to all things Batman. I’ve never read the comics, so I don’t know how faithful the movies are to the original story; my sister claims the beginning of Batman was portrayed wrongly in this movie (I told her the plot). I can neither disagree nor agree, because I can’t remember any details from the other movies.

This was a wondeful Batman movie. Serious enough (no Joker, and no Michael Keaton), gloomy enough, surprising enough (I don’t try to figure out movies while they’re running, I take twists as they come — I do often figure out things before they are shown on screen so don’t think I’m stupid). It was delightful to hear Bruce Wayne say “does it come in black?” My kind of guy. (Now, if there only was a real one out there somewhere…)

My aunt just wrote in an email that I’m free as their donkey grazing outside. She was referring to my ability to try out jobs here and there because I don’t have the burden of a family. Well, that’s one way to look at it. More optimistic than the one I’m currently having, at least.

Donkey…

I just sent off my CV (resumé, thanks to Chriske for reminding me of that word — I thought I was only forgetting Finnish) to the Dream Job. My puny CV…

They wanted to know about my interests too, but I didn’t mention I like to read horror (I put “reading”); I didn’t mention my fascination of first person shooters and gory games, but I did mention games and homepages (no URL, though, gosh) under “computer” hobby, so I hope they’ll just think my motor skills are excellent. At least it’ll make me stand out of the skirt people (sorry Jafer, you’re the only female FPS player I know besides myself); don’t know if that’s good or bad though. I don’t know if I should’ve mentioned my fast-as-a-lightning touch typing… I didn’t, that is. But I also don’t have any proof of that, just urban legends…… I probably underestimated my language skills, but I think I’m crap at everything but Finnish and English, so I wrote that (not *crap* per se). Then again, I shouldn’t have. But then again, there it would be soon evident that I lied if I had exaggerated.

Luckily, I guess, the job thing was postponed to early autumn, so I can work in the project without worrying I’d have to turn down the one or the other. So, now I’m just waiting for the verdict — Bonkers.

What a weird day — I was offered a job. I won’t be sharing any details about it yet until I know what the deal is but it would almost be my dream job.

I got it through a teacher(-ish) at the Uni. They (singular) were impressed by my work in a couple of classes.

Crazy stuff. I’m grinning from ear to ear (like this ) and can’t wait for tomorrow to call about it. I’m dead scared of phones (or of the sort of conversations…) but I’m going to call. Of course I am. Yes, I am. Yeah.

Alas, this probably means I need to quit the research job. It would be a shame because the people are really nice and it’s interesting and I was secretly hoping I could get my master’s thesis topic off of the project…

But I wouldn’t be the only one that’s left for a “real” job (I don’t mean that the research is less real than something else — but it can only go on for so long). I sometimes feel like I’ve given what I’ve got to the project and am twiddling thumbs (well, except now that I have this bloody tricky XSLT-script to write). But I can’t keep three jobs (be they only part-time and occassional), now can I? I still have studying to do as well!

But I really really do want this new job. OK OK, I don’t know if it’s going to be anything or am I just getting excited for no reason, but I sure do hope it will work out.

This is actually pretty scary, or odd at least. When I was younger (well, before I got sucked into this Uni project and realised that I may be able to be of use) I thought I probably wouldn’t amount to anything. I’ve been studying this vague subject that doesn’t give you a clear cut pigeon-hole occupational title like a doctor, or a lawyer or a kindergarten teacher (not that I’ve ever wanted to work in a pigeon-hole).

Honestly, what did I do?! (Well, I am a robot after all )

[update May 19 @12:35] Darn, it would be a full-time job. I don’t know if I can handle that. I have to negotiate. [/update]
[update May 19 @ 15:25] Negotiations on-going This is very exciting! When they find out I don’t study languages, though… ooops. [/update]

I’m liking this current layout — which I’ve had for 7 months! — so much that I find myself keeping away from the new layout under development. It’s pretty much done, but there’re some things that bug me, and the final polishings are the most “tiring” of the whole process (type a little, refresh site, type, refresh ad infinitum). If I had another site that I updated as much as this, I could make a layout for it. I’m too pleased with my current layouts (except for the X-Files site, gosh) so I don’t have an urge to change them. The XF site is too much work to change (unbelievable amount of graphics) and it’s not unbearably bad (the header images are bad).

Someone hire me as a web designer!! Kidding!

Chris J. Davis and Shawn Grimes among others wrote how people shouldn’t hide behind nicknames and abstract Gravatar icons. I used to have my whole name on my site but I don’t anymore. Why? Because I got scared a couple of times.

In Finland connecting your whole name with your address is very easy, especially when so many people own cell phones (it’s harder to look for me in the phone book — one of few perks of still living at home — but my cell phone is registered under my name). I don’t have the luxury of being “John Smith” (sorry, Mary Smith) in a country of dozens of millions of people. And because of that, some people (who turned out to be weirder than they seemed at first) have let me know that they know exactly where I live. That bugs me, because I definitely don’t want to meet them. Why was I so stupid that I gave too much information for them to do that to begin with? I don’t know. I was naïve.

I don’t keep a blog because I want my whole family reading about me, about my revelations on how I stay up till 6 am writing a big paper — not that it’d be a horrible thing if they knew. Then again, back then when I didn’t have a computer of my own, Dad wouldn’t let me have the power cord for the laptop, because he didn’t want me to stay up too long. I think I sneaked upstairs to get the cord when the battery was low and returned it before anyone woke up (I got up at 6:15 that morning). I don’t like the possibility of someone too close reading something I wouldn’t want them to read. At least I don’t want to make it any easier for them to find me. Maybe I’m just too paranoid; Dr. Phil says that people wouldn’t think so much about what other people think about them if they knew how little others actually do think about them. (Now there’s another tidbit you’d probably be better off without.)

To be honest, I don’t really even know why I keep a blog (or a site, for that matter). I’ve noticed I read my old posts quite often so it’s sort of a diary on what’s been happening (which doesn’t interest anyone else), but I do manage to actually write about some clear topics at times. My other sites (XF, Stephen King, aliens) which I’ve neglected horribly recently function as databases of information for me (how selfish am I?!) and if someone else finds something useful or of interest there, I’m pleased.

OK, back to topic (or at least closer). My Gravatar is from my current layout. It was a hasty solution because I didn’t want to be without a Gravatar on Jafer’s site The icon doesn’t have my mug because I don’t think it’s presentable (my favourite coffee mug might be). If my Gravatar were my face, I wouldn’t comment anywhere because I wouldn’t like having to look at it all around!

In addition, I took the Gravatar idea as a representation of my site, not my self. I wouldn’t know what represents the true me (besides that damn mug of mine). Definitely not a bright splash of purple, and a square of black would be too depressing.

At least I use my first name here so I’m not too “bad” a person.

(I set out to write something that makes sense. I’m afraid this doesn’t — much. Maybe you do better.)

I hate sites where I have to write www. at the beginning in order for them to work. Almost all the university sites are like that.