A sudden realisation
Back in 1997 I popped my knee really badly in April and had to use crutches for quite some time: first till I got in a surgery that summer and then finally to heal.
It was horrible having to ask help for anything and everything when both my hands were occupied by the crutches. In school I felt such a burden to my friend — just getting to class was a challenge. (And boy, the confirmation camp that summer was such a hoot.)
At a time when I’d got rid of one crutch I went to McDonald’s with my friend. I was left at the counter to carry the tray to our table. Yes, the one-armed me. The tray was quite heavy — with two drinks, two burgers and two sets of fries — and pretty soon after I’d started walking to the table, I dropped it.
I was sooo embarrassed. My friend had to go ask for refills for the drinks and someone had to come and wipe the Cokes off the floor. And I had to sit there and eat that meal.
Just now, after all these years of still being embarrassed, as something made me think about the crutches again (not that I haven’t thought about them before…) I surprised myself by realising something: why should I be embarrassed about what happened? No one offered to help me (a 15-year-old girl). Not my friend, not the person at the counter, no one. They should’ve been embarrassed.
It’s funny how we twist things around in our heads as if we’ve done something wrong by having an accident. I’ve been there too and later think back and get angry at myself for having the wrong feelings at the wrong time.